Guilt about Cutting the Friendship cord

So here is the dilemma . . .
There are people who drift apart. Sometimes, that is a mutual thing . . . you just don't connect anymore. You don't work in the same place, you have different interests now, in a different spot. But sometimes it is NOT a mutual decision. And when you are the one cutting the cord, well, sometimes it sucks.

I have a friend playing a show this evening. He texted me about it about a week ago. When I didn't text back (it was a mass text, so I was not being impolite) he texted again to make sure I was coming. It's 8 pm on the day of the show. I'm not coming. I'm sitting in my living room.

And part of me thinks I'm lame. And part of me really, really wants to be nice and support his efforts. How hard would it be to get up and go? I really don't have anything else to do, except maybe watch the 14 episodes of Rebel Monkeys on my DVR. Except that if I go . . . I may be the only person there. If I'm not the only person there, the other people there are people I don't want to see. I don't like the guy's music. At all. And if I go . . . I'll have to stay. And lie. I don't lie well.

So I sit here and type, waiting for my nails to dry, trying to think up something else to do. Other than sit here and feel guilty. Because this is the pivotal cutting the cord event. Not replying to his "Happy New Years" (yes, I know . . . it's not years) was not enough. I should probably have a nice talk with him, explain why I'm cutting the cord. I'm in a different place now. And he really, really wants to talk about being unhappy. And I don't really want to do that anymore. He is a nice person. He is making his way in the world and doing the best he can. But one night he tried to convince me that I wasn't really happy . . . listing reasons that I should be unhappy . . . and I decided that was rather toxic. So I didn't call anymore. And didn't return his texts. And I don't think telling him would do any good. Really.

So perhaps I will shower and go out shopping. Or watch all those "Rebel Monkeys". And pretend that I am in Miami. But I have to cut that cord.