But You're Not Okay . . . Really

"You sound bummed."

He always says this. He called me late on Monday and I didn't answer the phone. It was a school night . . . and I had leapt out of bed from sleep, thinking that someone had an emergency. And upon seeing it was him, I was pissed, set the phone down and went back to bed, hoping to get back to sleep.

But I called him back today, at a decent hour, thinking that he needed to talk. But I now realize that he needs me to be "bummed".

And while I usually love to muse about the motivations of people, this has become boring. Tiresome. I don't want to hear the lecture that it is going to come to, that it came to tonight. Like he likes to play free therapist. Tonight's revelation: I have some fear that causes me to have conflict in my desires and personality. I have to get over this fear.

Great. I'll get right on that.

Or I could just listen to Dr. Laura for an hour, be just as annoyed, but not have to actually talk. But thank you for playing. So the new plan? Not calling back. Because I do a lot of things to trip myself up . . . I obsess, I think too much, I'm a control freak, I look to far ahead . . . but calling once a week to try and dig through my head, so that quite honestly you'll feel better because somehow you are "fixing" me. Well, that's not working. I don't need fixing. And certainly, most certainly, not by you.

My favorite part is when it was pointed out to me that he was "just being a good friend". So let's see . . . I worked today, walked to the post office, did some shopping, finally got M2's registry, and managed to remember to put the catalog I need for work on my purse so I will remember it tomorrow. Good day. Ruined by returning a phone call. Because you called me. And now I'm pissed because I just got the high and mighty "you need to work on your personality" speech.

Freaking save it for when I actually have a crisis. Geez.