What He Heard

"Well, I'm on summer time . . . so you could call me sometime after you get out of work. I'll be up."

What he heard: I want you to steal all your freedom.

What I meant: It's really boring when you're up at 3 a.m. with no one to talk to . . . and you'll do.

"Oh, so you'll have all the kids? Well give me a call, we'll go to a museum or something . . . I'm good at finding free fun."

What he heard: I want to steal your soul.

What I meant: It must be hard to handle three kids and do anything. And hey, I want to go to the MOCAD . . . that might be fun with little kids.

The most fun of the conversation is, with this particular person, I could see the translation going on as he processed what I said. I was just being nice. Making conversation. I don't want to "date" him per say . . . but he is a good friend. Perhaps that is why I could see what was going on in his head.

And there are all these personal ads written by men saying they don't "want any games". I think of Scrabble (which I find boring) and Monopoly (which I find so boring that I don't think I've ever gotten through a whole game). But they aren't talking about that. I'm sure of it.

And I have been guilty of doing the "what does he really mean by that". And you know what? Most of the time, he meant exactly what came out of his mouth. Unless, he is breaking up with you . . . and then he is going to say whatever he thinks won't make you cry. Oh, there is that other time . . . but my parents read this.

And maybe I don't pay enough attention to what other women are saying and doing. But I didn't know there were games. Well, okay, maybe I did. But men play them just as much. If not more. And I really am just nice. Sorry, my parents raised me that way.

I don't even want anybody else's soul. Geez. Where would I put it?