Disappointment and Future Regret

My brother and nephew were over on Saturday and we were mostly napping as they had just walked the "death march" my father likes to do during the Woodward Cruise. Napping and listening to NPR.

I download the podcasts of This American Life. So my brother and I were listening to this one (Act III, My Other Dog is a German Shepard), which brought up a show on the Disney Channel.

"The Suite Life with Zack and Cody? Yeah. I watch that show." my nephew says.

The radio show had not been kind about The Suite Life with Z and C.

"Really? You watch that show, huh? When is it on?" my brother asks.
"Probably on right now." my nephew replies.

We turn on the television and change it to the Disney Channel.

Now the Disney Channel was a big part of Dave and my youth . . . part of the reason we have seen every flavor of "Witch Mountain" movie. Escape to . . . Return to . . . Snowboard off of . . . Oh, and the "Apple Dumplin' Gang". Dave watched that movie over and over. The Disney Channel of our youth was old Mickey Mouse cartoons and Disney movies from the fifties and sixties. A might bit brain rotting, but nothing serious. If anything . . . campy.

Currently on the Disney Channel? "Hannah Montana". My brother and I tried to get through an entire episode without throwing up. Hannah Montana is about Billy Ray Cyrus' little girl, who is a star singer. A pop tart low rent version of Brittney Spears. If there could be such a thing. And although portrayed as wholesome . . . at one point the girl was on the floor in a maxi-mini and I swear I saw up her skirt. Basically, the writing was insultingly dumb with a message at the end, of course. The girls were dressed like . . . well . . . 25 year old whores, even though they were supposed to be 14 or 15. Oh, and there was a large dose of sexual innuendo. Hannah, the main character, is upset that her bodyguard keeps chaperoning her dates with an older boy because, and I quote, "a girl has needs . . ."

This is on the Disney Channel. THE DISNEY CHANNEL. And Dave had never watched it . . . because it was on the Disney Channel, and you trust Disney . . . it's supposed to be Escape from Witch Mountain and Tron. Not a horny, pop tart with a badly played southern accent. No wonder my high schoolers are so warped. They've probably been watching the Disney Channel since they were three, which is why they think it's okay to preform oral sex during science class . . . when they are thirteen. And I guess I could argue that it's a show for high schoolers. It is set in a high school. But what teenager watches The Disney Channel?

Z got really pissed at us for telling him that he couldn't watch "Hannah Montana" anymore. And while I understand his point of view (not his fault that his adults didn't preview The Disney Channel and now he's all into the character development) personally, the Disney Channel is off the list at my house. I may set the parental controls and everything. And yes, I know that sexual innuendo is everywhere, but bad writing and poor stereotypes with a smidge of "girls are just playthings" is not.

Later, as we were watching Surviorman, in an attempt to ease the brain swelling, there was a commercial for silver coins. Evidently, I should buy a 19 dollar silver coin to "avoid disappointment and future regret". I think they were talking about me regretting not buying the nifty coin . . . but boy, I would love avoiding disappointment and future regret for only one payment of $19,95. Sign me up.