A Horror Movie Where No One Gets Killed

Okay, so I either had a little serotonin dip or my hormones are totally out of wack . . . I feel much better today for some unknown reason.

My grandmother, the one with the lipstick obsession, used to go through these funks. Except that she did hers at the speed of light; going from mean, to laughing, to crying, in moments. Mine now last a week or so but I KNOW that they are something physical. It's doesn't have to do with what's going on in my life. I cry at the drop of a hat . . . I feel all . . . best I can describe it is scratchy, not right in my skin. It's like dread enfolds you and you have these waves of anxiety for no reason. It's like the part of the horror movie where nothing has happened yet . . . but the music has started and it's only a matter of time before the actor with the small part is killed. Your body is stuck in that feeling.

The really fun part for me is that I know that it is totally irrational. I KNOW it but I can't feel it. So my body is totally on edge and my mind keeps trying to talk it down . . . "Why are we feeling like this? Is it your job? Do you hate your job? . . . Is it because you're not married? With 2.5 kids and a Volvo? We really did want a Volvo . . . " But maybe there are no reasons . . . maybe my body chemistry is just out of wack.

So much more level today. Hopefully, just a bad bout of PMS.