Still Can't be an Alcoholic

Despite my dream to be on the show "Intervention" and have some producer see that show and make me a star . . . I still cannot drink alcohol and not throw up. I suppose I could just drink and accept the throwing up part, but being unwilling to do that, I just cannot be an alcoholic.

On Friday, I had two beers with dinner . . . safe beers at that. Not new-fangled beer that I haven't had before, not beer that I know gives me a headache, nope, Guinness, something I know will not get sick on . . .

Then I went to my parents house and watched "Love Monkey". While there, I consumed four glasses of wine because my father wanted to do a taste comparison -- Columbia Crest "Two Vines" vs. Columbia Crest something else more expensive. I liked the more expensive, by the way. I crashed at my parents and got up way hung over. Like nauseous hung over, head pounding, can't move, must go back under the covers, hung over.

I drove home, picked up Starbucks on the way, sipped the soymilky goodness, slept for an hour and then puked. This will be graphic, so the queasy should stop reading HERE -- so first heave was Starbucks, no surprise there . . . second heave was wine colored, making me think, "there were layers?", the third, fourth and fifth heaves were wine colored chunks of what I assume was the last night's fish entree. Around noon I ate some squash soup, which sat angrily in my stomach but managed to stay down. -- AND START BACK HERE. So I don't know what made me sick . . . well, I do, it was the alcohol but I don't know what about the combination of alcohols. Was it the wine and the beer? Was it the two different kinds of wine? Was it the unique trifecta? I started keeping things down around five o'clock, per the usual alcohol sickness epidsodes. So I suck at drinking. And now I won't drink anything for a while because of the flashbacks.

I am really good at puking however. Too bad that isn't more fun.