Sunday, April 15, 2007

Done -- No. 16

I am done poking RB with a stick. Him being annoyed doesn't make me feel any better. And as much as I would like to attribute mystery to him . . . there isn't one. He calls me when he is lonely and bored. I don't know why I can't figure that out.

I am done with bars. I had fun last night, but there is always this expectation that this will be the night . . . the night that we meet someone . . . and we never meet anyone. Actually, I should speak for myself. I never meet anyone that I am remotely interested in. I would rather just go and hang out.

I really just want to curl up on my couch and watch movies for a while.

I'm done with drinking for a while. No, I'm not sick. I drank Coke for most of last night . . . but I'm sick of the headaches. And I do have a "oh my god I can't stand any smells ehw I smell like bath and body works soap" kind of headache today. Which is inconvenient. I'm a girl. Every product I use has a smell. Usually recognized as a good smell. But with a migraine, anything with a smell makes me nauseous.

I'm going to try to be done with apologizing. I apologize entirely too much. For everything. Things that are not my fault. Things that I have nothing to do with. And I know it is from my childhood and an oldest child thing, blah, blah, blah . . . but really I have very little to apologize for, but I spend an enormous amount of time apologizing. So hit me if you hear me saying I'm sorry. I'm not sorry. I think I'm just trying to get the upper hand in the conversation.

I need to be done being snobby about meeting people. If I'm really serious about having a relationship, then I need to do what it takes and be over my thoughts about how I should meet someone. Someone just said, "Well, our choices make our lives. If you really wanted to be married, you would be married." So golf lessons it is . . . yuck. Cause I'm not going to meet my glasses-wearing, tech-loving, bad-fashion choices, geek boy hanging out at the Front. And if I did, he wouldn't talk to me because he's with his friends at the Front . . . or I'm with my friends. I hear there are tech conventions somewhere.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

If your initial reaction to golf lessons is "yuck" then don't do it.

Anonymous said...

I am sorry that you feel this way. Do you really want to get a guy by changing yourself? I mean that in the most positive way possible. As a human being...you rock.

iamthanu said...

Thank you.

But what I am doing currently . . . not working. And maybe I will looooove golf. Don't know until you try it. And I have some golf damage from when I was five. Time to get over it.

And I'm not considering changing myself. Just my P.R. company (as a metaphor) . . . the way I'm presenting myself.

Plus, check the date. P.M.S.

Anonymous said...

This will be the last time I comment or view your blog. I truly have enjoyed it. And thank's to blogger for adding a spell check feature when leaving comments.

1) Good for you! Poking him with a stick only serves to keep your wounds open.

2) Maybe that's part of the problem... the expectation. So control what you can. Meaning going to the bars with the intent of enjoying your friends company. Or just people watching. Whatever it is you enjoy! If Mr. Right or Mr. Sorta Right is at the bar, he'll be at the bar otherwise he won't. Nothing more nothing less.

3) Enjoy! For god's sake watch the Princess Bride already! Beware of the ROUS's.

4) So don't. Coke is better than Pepsi. And woman scare me with their olfactory senses. Like a Spidey sense in your nose or something.

5)Again good for you! Apologies and saying sorry are seriously overused, and rarely are they used correctly. Apologies are meant to show empathy to the person that received the infraction. More often than not it's used to assuage ones guilt for committing the offense.

6)If you feel that you're snobby about meeting people, then yeah change that. But don't confuse snobby with a set of standards. You once said in your profile that you knew what you wanted and that he should too... or at least know what he didn't want. Thats a pretty good rule. But? You may want to help yourself out a bit and let others know what exactly it is your looking for. At least a general idea.

As far as, "Well, our choices make our lives. If you really wanted to be married, you would be married." Wow! Thats a lot of pressure to put on oneself. Just an observation (and more than likely I'm wrong) but sometimes it seems like you treat love as if it was a to do list. Just an outsiders observation.

Keep in mind that golf will be no different than hanging out at the Front. After all if he won't talk to you because he's with his friends. And you won't talk to him because your with your friends....well no risk, no reward.

I said it before, but maybe it bears repeating. Your attractive, smart, successful and funny if not quirky. You make that goofy hat look great! And anyone who loves Salinger can't be half bad!

Take care,

~sms~

Anonymous said...

SMS where ya going?

iamthanu said...

Yeah, where are you going?

Thanks for the nice comment, by the way. Still trying the golf. Unless you have another suggestion.

And just for you . . . the next time I'm at the bar, I will just talk to three people. That I don't already know. But only three.

Anonymous said...

You live in the wrong place to meet geeks - move to the west coast, you can meet them almost anywhere along the coast.

Who knows, pretty soon there may be bays, coves, and inlets named after successful geeks over here...

iamthanu said...

Yeah, but Cali is expensive. I would have to get a good job or something. Maybe I can just come visit, seduce a geek and then drag him back here.