We tried to go to the "Super" Target today. There is one. In the middle of the desert. Waiting for people to show up. I bet the clearance is awesome.
Princess insisted that the Target would not be closed for Easter . . . "Not everyone is Catholic" was her response. Nevermind that the Protestants also celebrate the rising of Jesus. They don't count. Somehow in Princess' mind, Target is a decidedly agnostic organization.
Target is closed on Easter. At least the Super Target in the middle of nowhere, desert, Arizona is . . . must be run by the Catholics.
There are bunnies in the backyard. They are courting, because it is springtime. I almost ran over a quail . . . the first I have seen. Evidently they are not so smart, the quail, as he or she was desperate to run under the wheels of my rental car. Because I love to name inanimate objects, the car's name is Valerie for the week. So I had to make Valerie stop very quickly, so I did not flatten the quail.
After the failed trip to the Super Target, we went "tanning" by the pool. I brought knitting . . . except that I am making something out of "Naughty Needles". So it is awkward, when question "Oh, what are you knitting?" comes up, usually out of the mouth of a seventy year old women. If you say "I'm knitting a ball gag" then you have to explain what that is . . . so I just said "I'm practicing my short rows." This had the same effect, but it's easy to explain what short rows are . . . actually, that is not true . . . but it disturbs the ladies less.
I now have the closest thing to a tan that I can muster . . . pink. Princess insists that I'm doing it "on purpose" to prove her wrong. I'm amazed that she thinks that I have that much control. "Yes, I'm controlling the amount of melanin produced by my body . . . just to make you look bad." I told her that I was a white girl.
Now she is slathering me in Aloe, hoping that somehow that will turn the pink to brown. And I ruined the "Tan of the Isles" plan because I used the first stuff she told me to use instead of the second stuff. I'm not flexible enough about the tanning plan. Somehow it evolves as you are tanning. According to Princess anyway.
So if I'm not too pink, I may tan tomorrow. But really, I like being a white girl. Goes with all the black outfits . . . and the vampire teeth.
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2 comments:
Knitting a ball gag?!
1. Where's the picture of *that*?!
2. I thought your mom read this?
What? Would you like the pattern?
1. It's not finished . . . wrap and turns are very hard. It's red synthetic yarn, so it doesn't get smelly.
2. She does. Thank you for drawing more attention to something that I slipped in and was currently not admonished for . . .yet.
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