Death Spiral

"In some ways you're random, but in some ways you're so predictable . . ." was the comment made to me yesterday.

I agreed with the comment, but wanted to know how I was predictable (basically, to see if I agreed with the ways in which I am predictable).

"Well, let's start on how you're not going to let this go . . ."

I then brought up that I knew about my "death spiral", where I just get so winged out about something. I will not let it go . . . at least for a couple of hours (some things days) and then it's over. Just over. I don't keep it. However there is a storm . . . or a process that I have to go through. "But I haven't done that in a long time" I said.

And then there was this afternoon . . . and I'm all worked up in predictable fashion. The blog may have to go. People don't think about how their actions effect other people . . . other people who were just trying to mind their own business. I'm just being reactionary and I know it and it sucks and I will just go through this process . . . and everything will be fine.

As an aside, I feel that I should explain the origination of the term "death spiral". My brother was a "unique" child, unique being a kind term for . . . say . . . demon spawn from hell. When he was two, he didn't sleep or more accurately wouldn't sleep for days. We could tell when he was about to crash when he would do what my mother called "the death spiral". He would just start running in circles (I think in an attempt to stay awake) until he crashed and fell asleep on the floor. I distinctly remember stepping over him in the kitchen, while the textured tile imprinted his face. We never moved him . . . didn't want to chance waking him.

He still does a version of this . . . now that he is almost 29. But I think his girlfriend won't let him run in the apartment, or sleep on the floor. Riles up the dogs.