The Shack Inn

I don't suppose that I mentioned that they have a website.

So Princess and I get all our stuff. Marv leads us through the kitchen to our rooms (that can't be sanitary). There are people sitting at the kitchen island eating ice cream and they nod at us in acknowledgement. Are they guests? Relatives? Disciples? I'm not sure.

There is no elevator, just a run of steep stairs with a 90 degree turn in the middle. Everything is knotty pine. Well, not the industrial grade carpet that makes everything look like a 70's basement . . . but everything else is covered with a protective layer of knotty pine . . . and varnish . . . and signs . . . with Bible verses . . .

We get to our room (room 106, I believe). There is a giant NO SMOKING routered sign on the door, bigger than the room number. Okay, we won't smoke. We open the door to find . . .

The first thing that hits you is the hanging red light. Red glass, hanging off a chain from the ceiling. Underneath the red light is an enormous tub, in the middle of the room. Across from the tub is a queen size bed, framed with red lights. The wallpaper is red velvet. It is dark, from all the red lighting. There is a single bed to the back of the room, made of knotty pine. And there is rope . . . stapled to the wall with giant staples. A design rising up the wall, ending in two hearts. Princess and I have been assigned the honeymoon, plus one? suite. And we stand in awe.