Elvis Black

It's hard to find a good hairstylist . . . ask any woman and she'll confirm this fact. And I love Jen . . . but my hair is currently a color I would describe as "Ronald McDonald" red and the dyke spikes (my apologies ladies . . . but what else would you have me call them?) now have a separate zip code instead of "blending in". "I'm going to separate these out" says Jen as she flicks a straight-edge razor around my head. Who am I to argue?

Now it will all be fixed by tomorrow . . . and amazingly, no matter how much I abuse them, the hairs, they still grow. Shampoo will take care of the dyke spike problem and I'm thinking "atomic red" since it's summer . . . a bit brighter than I could pull off at school.

Now Princess (and my male reader base) (he, he, I just assumed that I have a "reader base") will question why I pay a person to cut and dye my hair . . . and then the next day spend my own time fixing my hair.

First off, I refuse to spend as much as Princess spends on her hair (yes, I know how much you spend) . . . Honey, your hair looks awesome but Salon 6, it's just too much, in so many ways . . . not just monetarily.

Second, I love Jen. So it's worth coming to Milford to see her and she's doing the best she can with what she's working with. And she cuts it just a little too short, so it will look really good in three weeks . . . which is how a haircut is supposed to work, I think.

Third, permanent dyes don't come in as bright a color as I want. And dyeing my hair is becoming sort of a meditative exercise. Plus, I figured out that if you Saran Wrap everything you don't make as much of a mess. Plus I get to spend $10 at Noir to keep the place afloat . . . because there just aren't enough people making liquid latex purchases anymore. (actually, they raised the price on hair dye - $11.60) (and there was someone purchasing liquid latex last time I was there . . . he was in a business suit and tie, and the sales girl was talking him out of purchasing two containers, informing him that one would last for "a while")

The fall hair plan is to dye everything black . . . I described it as "blue-black", to which Jen then said, "oooh, Elvis black . . . yeah, that'll look good". I was hoping for more of a "Trent Reznor" black but I suppose the two are possibly one and the same color (probably Nice-n-Easy no. 67, or something). I'm pretty sure that the new dress code will have an "Emily hair" rule in it, in addition to the forbidding of open toed shoes. If it doesn't have an "Emily hair" rule, we may do some streaks of some color mixed in with the Elvis black.

Is there a Elvis hair colored muppet? Or am I going to have to change all my usernames?