The Next One You Meet

When you have a "life crisis", at least when I do, in the middle of all the obsessing you start to look for patterns. And I have found it . . . and have been forever the "transition girlfriend". From the start . . .

(I'm naming names on this one . . . my apologies)

I am the girl you date just before you find "the one" and live happily (some somewhat unhappily) ever after. Let's look at the history, shall we?

Jeff - my high school love interest
Dated me. Cheated on me. Met Jill shortly after. Was with Jill for three years. Broke up with Jill, and dated me. Married Jill.

John - college love interest
starting dating John to get over Jeff . . . John was dating me to get over someone (the greatest girl in the world as I remember). Tortured each other for three or four years. He met someone in Chicago. Emailed me ten years later to let me know that he was marrying her . . . I think to because he wanted a gift.

John (Weasel) - college love interest
Okay, he was a bad idea from the start but . . . went out with me, went to Guam, found the "accountant", moved to Connecticut with the "accountant". He did stop back in town on the way to Connecticut to let me know that I was a really good girlfriend and a good person . . . and that he was still moving to Connecticut.

Kevin - the gay boyfriend
Went "out" with Kevin because there was no pressure and I had really bad taste in men and had figured out that I had bad taste in men. Had a lovely platonic "spend time together he pays for dinner" thing. We stop talking. He finds Kurt, the love of his life.

Al - a "thing" I had at the restaurant
Makes out with me. I swear a week later he meets Kelly, who I went to high school with, and they are married a year later.

Now I'll skip all the guys that I just went on a few dates with . . . but there seems to be a pattern. Oh, there's Mark, who I was in love with for years as an idea, who wasn't over that blond girl . . .

So what I have to fix is being attracted to guys who are pining for other women . . . I think. How do you stop being transition girlfriend? How do I stop being the "yeah, you're really great but . . . " girl? Because I took all that time "off" to find myself because I had figured out that I was doing something wrong, because I felt like shit all the time when it came to guys. And when I jump back into the dating pool? I swim over to the guy who isn't over his ex-wife OR his ex-girlfriend. I mean how could he even see me through all of that?

So I am doomed to be the transition fairy? I'll just make it my mission to go out with guys so that the next one after me will be "the one"? Because the "He's Just Not That Into You" book is right . . . guys will go through hell and high water for what they think is the one. I've seen it happen with all of my exs. Maybe I should add that to my profile - go with me for a beer and next week meet the love of your life.