This Morning

I swear to god I was coming to grips last night . . . and now there is this morning. And tomorrow morning will be better and the next . . . until it is all a fond memory. But right at this moment, a piece of my soul is missing. And I don't know where to find it to put it back.

And I want to know which morning I can roll over and go back to sleep.

I keep telling myself that I was love with the idea of him . . . but in the abstract, the idea of him was pretty much a mess, so pretty much I actually loved him. I let myself fall in love with him. And now that's gone. And it will never be the same.

There is an Ani DiFranco song, "I used to be a Superhero, no one could touch me . . . no not even myself. But you were like a phone booth, that I somehow stumbled into . . . now look at me . . . I am just like everybody else."

How I long for the day that I'll just roll over and go back to sleep . . . or maybe not wake up at all and yet, how I hate that someday I'll just roll over and go back to sleep.

He didn't feel the same. I get it. Doesn't make this moment in time any easier. But I almost hate the fact I that I know that it will get easier.