Open Til' Ten

I arrived home at 8 p.m. this evening. Still haven't gotten to anything on my lists . . . but the day was amusing, so it balanced out. Decided to do some laundry for tomorrow so I could wear that cute black shirt from the Gap. Walk downstairs, turn on the light . . . and water is everywhere.

I have floor drains so this is okay. I check the furnace first, as the hose sometimes gets clogged. Nope. Seems to be coming from the water heater. Check to see if I have hot water. Yes. Check to see if any water is spurting out as I turn on the water. Nope. Kneel down in the water and check the water heater. Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip, drip, drip is not good. Call Mr. and Mrs. Crabbypants. Turn off water says Mrs. Don't turn off until you shower, says Mr..

Mr. Crabbypants: How long has it been leaking?
Emily: Ooooh, I don't know.
Mr. Crabbypants: So how long since you've even been in the basement?
Emily: Within the last three days or so . . .
Hear Mr. Crabbypants rolling his eyes over the phone. (They were that loud)

40 gallon is fine says Mr. CP. And then he realizes that it is a holiday weekend. You have to get it tomorrow morning, he decrees. Nope. Working. Must be installed before the weekend. Go tonight.

I show up to the Home Depot closest to my house at 9:30. It is not my favorite Home Depot. It is not even my second favorite Home Depot. It is like my fifth string Home Depot. The guy is friendly . . . but doesn't know anything about water heaters. He doesn't know the price. He doesn't know the heat recovery. He wants me to buy the extended service plan. This is why this is the fifth string Home Depot. I pick my water heater . . . a pretty, pretty princess one with a 12 year warranty that will be quiet and energy efficient. The nicest one the in the store . . . because I can and because it is 9:35 p.m. on a Wednesday and because I need it installed on Friday and that is the only day I can have it installed. Because I'm tired and I don't want to think. The guy, he can't work the computer. He can't figure out how to put in the SKU for the plumbing permit. And he tries, and tries and tries . . . and then there are phone calls and more phone calls. And another guy tries to sell me the extended warranty, because you know, it's a lifetime warranty and I'm a girl. I point out that 12 years is pretty much the lifetime of a water heater and that they're only $700, which stops him. And first guy is still not figuring out the computer. It's 9:47.

Finally someone else comes and she can't figure it out either. First guy has a lightbulb moment, finding the step he skipped and we are in business for only $668.01. Excellent. Sign me up. What colors does it come in? Will it do long division?

They have to hold a register open for me . . . and let me out of the now locked door. They will call tomorrow to schedule the install. I keep listening for gushing sounds because I left the water on . . . I really want to shower tomorrow. During the lengthy computer fiddling, there were stories of water heater bottoms "just falling off" and stories of musty smells . . . and stories of water heaters coming up out of the basement to murder a family of five. I just want it to not blow up for 12 hours. Just so I can get a shower in the morning. The rest of the weekend can be spent at State Wayne Manor, if need be, especially since Mr. Crabbypants is not up and around. He would probably like the company. Oh, and it needs to be installed before the weekend because I cannot take any time off this week.

Adventures in water heaters. If anyone comes over, be sure to ask to see it. And I guess I'm not wearing the cute black shirt tomorrow.