Superhuman Powers

A new friend of mine lists his superhuman abilities on one of his profiles . . . I believe "eating cheese" is one of them. So it came up in conversation what I thought my superhuman abilities were. And I had nothing.

So after a small survey, E2 pointed out on superhuman power that I have. And it's a good one. My superhuman power is . . . I have the ability to say no . . . without ever actually saying the word no.

For example, last night some burnout (I know, high school term . . . but I was in my hometown and the description fits, dirty AC/DC t-shirt and all. He may have even had high top tennis shoes on. I didn't check.) came up, complimented my hair and then asked if he could have my barrette. "I'm sorry, it's really my schitck . . . " and then after his insistence . . . "Well, tell you what, at the end of the night you can have my barrette." There was a lot of pestering from the burnout and many statements of "But I'm leaving right now." This wasn't true, as he went back and sat at the bar for another two hours. But I never actually said the word "No". Just made the situation impossible.

I had done this earlier in the day also . . . but I don't want to be dooced, so we can't talk about it.

And now, twelve hours later, I realize that the burner was probably making fun of my hair, as I recall that his hair was black and spiked, but then again, he was assuming that I actually looked at him for more than a nanosecond . . . and didn't know that I was busy making eyes at the guy across the room. Somehow, I was introduced to his boss also . . . interesting evening. And I paid cover to get into a bar in Plymouth. New experience. And the only time I will ever do that. There was a reason I had never been to that bar, despite it being four blocks from my brother's house. It was like a microcosism of Westland in the eighties. And Westland in the eighties . . . it wasn't pretty. I'm not sure it's pretty now.

So chalk up another superhuman power . . . being totally oblivious to people making fun of me . . . and then not caring when I figure it out. Any others?